Rules, rules, rules! Until the 1960s and 1970s, most people’s
lives followed rules. Rules of who you can socialize with, what job or career
you can have, and often even what food you can eat. Many of the rules, or in some cases, laws,
were written down, but many of them were informal or traditional.
The informal, traditional rules, we
learned from our family. We were also taught in school. Some of the previous “Monday
at the Manor” blogs focused on a variety of social situations. One of the first
rules which must be followed was that of the Introduction. In the 1850s, even the Backus family was
respectful of social rank, and how to introduce one person to another was
dictated by a set of rules. Many of us in the 21st century where are
of a “certain age” were taught in primary school the correct way to introduce
our friends to our parents, even though formal social rank was not a
consideration for most people in the mid 20th century.
As with most of the rules of the mid to
late Victorian era, there were books which include rules about introductions. To
quote from Routledge’s Manual of Etiquette, written in 1879:
- To introduce persons who are mutually unknown is to undertake a serious responsibility, and to certify to each the respectability of the other.
- Always introduce the gentleman to the lady never the lady to the gentleman. The chivalry of etiquette assumes that the lady is invariably the superior in right of her sex, and that the gentleman is honoured in the introduction. This rule is to be observed even when the social rank of the gentleman is higher than that of the lady.
- Where the sexes are the same, always present the inferior to the superior. Never present a gentleman to a lady without first asking her permission to do so.
- When introduced, persons limit their recognition of each other to a bow. On the Continent, ladies never shake hands with gentlemen unless under circumstances of great intimacy.
Mr. Routledge continues to explain the
rules concerning people of society ranks and give many, many examples in his
book.
In the 21st. century,
introductions can still play an important role, especially in a business/professional
situation. Many large corporations hire consultants to give etiquette classes
and these include how to make introductions. Today’s requirements or a great deal simpler
for example:
· First, state the name of the person being
introduced to. This is the ‘higher-ranking’ person.
· Second, say “I
would like to introduce” or, “please meet” or, “this is,” etc.
· Third, state
the name of the person being introduced. This is the ‘lower-ranking’ person.
· Finally, offer
some details about each, as appropriate.
There may also be times when it is necessary to introduce yourself to a
business acquaintance or in a group meeting. To make it easy to remember, here is
a example from a modern movie:
A greeting – Hello.
Your name – My name is Inigo Montoya.
Your reason for meeting – You killed my father.
Your expected outcome – Prepare to die!
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is used for maintaining our heritage buildings, daily operating expenses like
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