As young
ladies looking to marry, and young men looking for a wife, the young people in
the Backus family took advantage of a variety of social situation. A dance was
one of the most available means to mingle with others of their age.
As
with most activates, there were rules governing behaviour at these dances. The
rules covered when to dance, who to dance with, and even how loud to speak.
Be very careful how
you refuse to dance with a gentleman. Be careful that you do not engage
yourself twice for the same quadrille.
Let your manner in a
ball room be quiet. It looks very badly to see a lady endeavoring to attract
attention by her boisterous manner, loud talking, or over-active dancing.
At the end of each
dance, your partner will offer his arm, and conduct you to a seat; then bow,
and release him from further attendance.
When invited to dance,
hand your ball card to the gentleman, who will put his name in one of the
vacant places.
If you are accompanied
by a gentleman, besides your father or brother, remember he has the right to
the first dance, and also will expect to take you in to supper.
Never leave the ball
room, for any such purpose, alone, as there are always gentlemen near and round
the door, and it looks very badly to see a lady, unattended, going through a
crowd of gentlemen.
It is best at a ball,
to dance only every other dance, as over-fatigue, and probably a flushed face,
will follow too much dancing.
Never allow your
partner, though he may be your most intimate friend, to converse in a low tone,
or in any way assume a confidential air at a ball.
No young lady should
go to a ball, without the protection of a married lady, or an elderly
gentleman.
The Ladies' Book of
Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
A Complete Hand Book for the Use of the
Lady in Polite Society
By Florence Hartley,
published in 1854
These were just a few of the rules that young
ladies and gentlemen were required to know and follow. These rules were taught
along with the dance steps that allowed for proper and acceptable behaviour and
to avoid embarrassment.
There were more discreet ways of communication in
social places. Most ladies carried a hand fan, and the fan became a useful
object to convey feelings. Fans have
been in use since the days of ancient Rome, but became popular during the late eighteenth
century, and in 1797. London fan maker Charles Badini, published “Fanology or Ladies
Conversation Fan” and gave a copy with each fan purchased. This idea became so
popular, that the stylish ladies of the city adopted this set of signals. What
began as a sales gimmick became a part of the culture and continued into the
end of the nineteenth century.
The next time you get an opportunity,
here is a helpful guide to some of the most common fan signals:
·
Yes:
Touch your right cheek with your fan and leave it there.
·
No:
Touch your left cheek with your fan and leave it there.
·
I’m married: Fan yourself slowly.
·
I’m engaged: Fan yourself quickly.
·
I desire to be acquainted with you: Place the fan in
your left hand in front of your face.
·
I hate you: Draw the fan through your hand.
·
I am sorry: Draw the fan across your eyes.
·
Go away: Hold the fan over your left ear.
Next
time you to go a dance, or go dancing, keep all of this in mind, and enjoy
living in the 21st century!
--------------------------------------------------------
All our events, admission
and programming income is used for maintaining our heritage buildings, daily
operating expenses like utilities, and fun We are
reaching out to private foundations and applying
for government grants, but those funds tend to be project specific and not to
be used for general operations. If you are able to sponsor one of the
following categories or make a charitable donation of any amount your support
is essential right now.
One Month of Operations
$3000 One Week of Operations
$750 One Day of
Operations $100
Can we count on your contribution?
If you are able to
contribute financially by purchasing a Tyrconnell Heritage Society Membership
or making a donation in any amount your support would be greatly
appreciated. Memberships - Individual $30; Couple $35; Family $40;
Organization $45; Business $75; Individual Lifetime $250 Here is the link to our page at CanadaHelps.
